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Finding Fulfilment in Letting Go: Embracing the Moment

One Sunday morning from a park, a sweet buzzing sound of a beautiful butterfly came while hovering over a flower. A boy and his grandfather went for a regular walk. As soon as the boy saw the butterfly, he was attracted by its beautiful coloured wings and buzzing sound. 

He excitedly ran to chase the butterfly. And for the first time, he was successful. He tightly captured it in his palms. However, the butterfly soon died due to its tight grasp and lost its wings and colours. The boy got heartbroken and started crying. 

Hearing the grandson cry, the grandfather asks him what has happened. He narrates the whole story. He says, “He had captured the butterfly, but the wings got broken, and the beautiful butterfly died”.

Listening to the whole incident, the grandfather said the beauty of a butterfly is in letting it fly freely and not in capturing it. He further told the boy that there are many desires in life that we want to possess and hold on to. But when we get them, we forget their beauty, become dissatisfied, and want more. We didn’t cherish the moment – a new life lesson for him. 

Are you doing the same? Ask yourself.

This story is a classic reflection of what we commonly face while chasing our dreams, desires, and, in turn, our hopes for their completion. We often find ourselves craving something not within our reach, whether a person, a tangible thing, or an idea. We attach ourselves to these things, people, or ideas and think we will be delighted once we get what we desire. 

However, a reality check comes when the outcomes, material possessions, past experiences, or future expectations we’ve craved for so long become ours. Then, we gradually start losing interest in them and soon begin craving something fresh or unexplored. All this happens because our past experiences or desires have become mapped territory for us, and our relationship with them has changed. Now, this explored experience creates a dilemma.

In this blog, we will explore this dilemma. We will discover how to find fulfilment in letting go, embracing transient relationships, being grateful for these fleeting moments, and harnessing creative desire in our daily lives. Also, through this blog, we will understand the crucial role played by a life coach in guiding our path toward self-discovery, which will further help build our emotional intelligence and relationships.

The Nature of Craving

Humans tend to crave or desire things. For instance, someone going through a breakup intensely craves the comfort and security of the relationship. Sometimes, these desires motivate us to pursue our goals, fulfil our objectives, and advance in life. Our true desires arise from our need to create, explore self-expression, or search for true potential. The idea or thought of completing desires makes us excited and hopeful. For instance, our imagination of getting a promotion can fill us with excitement and hope. We envision getting a better salary, a newer job role, or a higher post. 

Not only this, desire also moves us towards unexplored and unchartered territory. It brings us to discover something new. For example, the individual’s search for a soulmate in this world led to the creation of websites like Tinder, Bumble, etc., which opened up another world for people.

The Act of Capturing

As soon as we capture the object of our desires, we often set a new boundary around it with new limitations and demands. We want to possess it and make it a part of our lives. Yet, in doing so, it loses its traits. As in the above story, the relationship between the boy and the butterfly changes as soon as the boy possesses the butterfly. The butterfly’s beauty was in its freedom, its vibrant dance among the flowers. Once captured, the butterfly lost its essence.

For instance, in a relationship, if one partner tries to control the other one’s life out of fear, doubt, or insecurity, trust issues will arise. Gradually, the shine of their love relationship will start to fade. 

The Disappointment of Possession

This displeasure makes us question our possession for failing to achieve our desired results. We miss the fact that the act of possessing the desired object itself changed the equation of our relationship with it. It is not the thing that has changed, but our perception of it has changed. 

However, our society and our culture often equate possession with happiness and condition us to believe that owning something will bring us lasting joy. We expect to fill the void permanently, but we fail to understand that the desire for fulfilment or completion is not a destination but a transient journey. 

So, in the above scenario, if partners adopt a letting go technique, trust each other, and avoid controlling behaviour, they can build a more balanced and respectful relationship.

Embracing Transient Encounters

The solution to this dilemma is accepting that our desires and wants are transient. Instead of walking towards their possession, we must appreciate and understand these fleeting encounters. They are valuable because they are temporary and provide insights about our desires. 

For instance, a traveller goes on a trip to a hill station. He meets some local people and has a fantastic time exploring with them. In this short interaction, their bond becomes closer without the desire to be in contact forever. They just cherished the memory of that beautiful encounter and were thankful for their time together.

Living with Uncertainty and Ambiguity

However, uncertainty and ambiguity about accidental meetings, thoughts, or ideas can be challenging and thought-provoking. It requires a complete shift in mindset from possession to appreciation and the ability to find joy and happiness in the moment without lingering on it.  

Suppose a couple walks on the beach and watches the sunset together. The moment is short-lived, but it fills the couple with a sense of peace and a deeper appreciation for each other. This perspective will lead the couple to enjoy the richness of life’s transitory moments without being dissatisfied.

The Gratitude for Transience

Here, the role of gratitude becomes crucial. The point of view of being grateful for the experience that satisfies our desires, even for a moment, cultivates a sense of completion or fulfilment that is not attached to possession. This gratitude allows us to appreciate the beauty of transient experiences and find joy in life’s fleeting nature. 

Letting go of the past, bad experiences, or others can lead to inner peace and a richer, more fulfilling experience of the world around us. For instance, in a love relationship, if a partner acknowledges the other half, thanking them for making coffee, picking up groceries, or simply being there for support, these gestures from a partner make the other one feel valued and appreciated. This whole act will help the partner nurture the relationship.

Harnessing Desire for Living in the Moment

One of the most profound ways to stay engaged and present in life’s fleeting moments is by continuously embracing creativity. Desire, often seen as the ultimate creative force, propels us to explore uncharted territories and innovate in various aspects of our lives. We become more open to experimenting with new ideas, methods, and approaches. This constant pursuit of creativity keeps us alive, fresh, and youthful.  For instance, our desires guide us in exploring hobbies like gardening or photography and finally finding happiness.

The Role of Life Coach

However, travelling alone on this path of embracing transient moments, being grateful, or embracing creativity is quite challenging. You can achieve it with a life coach’s mentorship, support, and guidance. Life coaching can better help us understand relationships, develop emotional intelligence, and manage stress. 

A life transformational coach enables us to feel different emotions and strengthens us in dealing with emotional and mental challenges. Whether they are associated with letting go of past hurts, unrealistic expectations, or the need for self-control. 

A life coach guides us to overcome emotional barriers, develop mindfulness, and cultivate a more fulfilling and present-focused life. This holistic approach not only aids in personal growth but also enhances overall well-being and satisfaction. Moreover, it also makes our lives pure and with a purpose.

List all your desires and reflect upon them.

Conclusion

Let’s summarise what we’ve explored through this blog. 

The dilemma of possession will often be there, but finding fulfilment in letting go and searching for truth in the transient moments rather than in the permanence of owning it. Through this, we can achieve contentment in our desires, aspirations, or cravings. And start practising gratitude for these transient and beautiful moments. We can also cherish the moments by embracing creativity, as our desire is the ultimate creative force. However, a life coach can easily incorporate all this into our lives, helping in self-discovery.

What do you think about the grandfather’s advice from the above boy and the butterfly’s story? 

Did you understand this beautiful concept? Please tell us.

Till then, Stay tuned for more such blogs. 

Have a Happy, Purposeful Life!

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10 Powerful Strategies for Building Confidence in Yourself

It takes self-confidence to live a happy and satisfying life. Self-assured people take on obstacles head-on while maintaining their composure and resolve.  For people to flourish, self-assurance serves as the cornerstone. A person lacking confidence cannot accomplish their life’s purpose and realize their full potential. It is so essential to develop a firm belief in one’s abilities if one is to be happy and reach their goals.

You can build and enhance your self-confidence over time, so don’t panic if it has never come easily to you. Here are ten effective techniques to help you develop a strong sense of self-worth:

Reframe Negative Self-Talk 

Having an inner critic who likes to bring out our flaws is something that we all have in common. Our confidence and feeling of self can be seriously harmed if we allow this self-talk to persist. If you catch yourself thinking negative ideas like “I’ll never be good enough” or “I’m not smart/talented/attractive enough,” replace those negative thoughts with more positive ones. substitution “I’m a failure” with the words “I’m still learning and growing.”

Celebrate Small Wins 

Too often we reserve praise and acknowledgment for major accomplishments. But to recognise and celebrate small triumphs along the way, confidence must be developed. Appreciate the little things in life, like getting out of bed when you’re sad or finishing a task at work ahead of time. Give the small things your full attention.

Visualize Success

See yourself confidently attaining your goals, whether it’s giving a powerful presentation, landing a dream job, or achieving a fitness milestone. Visualization is a profoundly effective technique that increases confidence, motivation, and positive thinking. Envision success in rich detail, remembering to incorporate vivid imagery and emotions.

Do Something That Scares You

Is there something that scares you that you’ve been putting off? Procrastination and avoidance are classic responses to the dread of appearing unprepared. Even if you only make a tiny progress in the correct direction, take a chance and confront your fear. As soon as you get over your anxiety and self-doubt, you’ll experience an instant boost in confidence.

Establish Boundaries

When we don’t set boundaries, we prioritize the demands of others before our own and take on more obligations than we can manage. Consider which aspects of your life—at work, in a relationship, or with personal obligations—need more boundaries. Then, enact limits and learn to say “no” without guilt or over-explanation.

Lean Into Your Strengths

It’s time to shift if you find yourself dwelling on your flaws regularly. Write down all of your impressive abilities, talents, successes, and admirable qualities. Remember these strengths often; they are great sources of pride, confidence, and self-assurance.

Question Unhelpful Beliefs 

When our core beliefs are shaped by childhood experiences, unreal expectations from others, or previous disappointments, our confidence may weaken. Recognize and address self-defeating ideas such as “I’m not deserving of success” or “I require approval from others to feel confident.” Try self-reflection techniques to help you get over these beliefs, such as journaling, counseling, or getting advice from reliable people.

Hire a Confidence Coach

If you find yourself truly struggling with self-doubt, a confidence-building coach can help you unpack limiting beliefs, build self-assurance strategies, and create an action plan to pursue your biggest goals. They’ll provide accountability, support, and tools to cultivate lasting confidence.

Practice Self-Care

Neglecting yourself can lead to low confidence and self-esteem. Give yourself the best care you can: get adequate rest, eat a healthy diet, exercise, engage in enjoyable hobbies, and spend time with encouraging and supportive people. Your confidence will soar once you begin prioritizing yourself.

Try Confidence-Boosting Affirmations or Mantras 

Positive remarks known as affirmations have the power to transform your self-perception and boost your confidence when repeated often. For instance, “I am worthy of love and success,” “I am becoming more confident every day,” as well as “My potential is limitless.” Sticky notes around the house or setting phone reminders can aid in affirmation practice.

Conclusion: Nurturing Lasting Self-Confidence

Building enduring self-confidence requires persistence, positive behaviors, and consistent self-compassion practice. Self-improvement tactics and positive self-talk are incremental ways to gain confidence, even though the path may not always be straightforward. For people who are struggling with significant problems, consulting a life coach can be quite helpful. A life coach can help identify the underlying reasons of self-doubt, tailor techniques to boost confidence and provide encouraging support. For many people, meeting with a professional life coach may be a transformative experience that leads to more self-assurance, success, and overall satisfaction.

Gaining confidence is a personal process that takes time for each person. Over time, there can be noticeable changes if these tactics are consistently practiced.

Acknowledge your abilities, make reasonable goals, and ask the help of mentors or peers to help you overcome self-doubt. Always keep in mind that every obstacle presents a chance for development and education.

The capacity to overcome hardship and disappointments is resilience. Resilience building gives you the inner fortitude to tackle obstacles head-on and boosts your self-esteem in the process.

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Role of Emotional Intelligence in Personal Growth

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, comprehend, and control our feelings, as well as react intelligently to those of others. In contrast to IQ, EQ is a collection of intrapersonal and interpersonal traits that enable us to manage social encounters with compassion and knowledge. By understanding our inner world and resonating with others’ experiences, we respond thoughtfully instead of mindlessly. This supports personal growth. Enhancing emotional capacities provides a foundation for flourishing despite stressors. EQ drives an upward spiral of evolution by continuously honing self-knowledge and making choices aligned with the deepest values. EQ helps us understand ourselves and social dynamics, enabling well-being and fulfilment despite challenges.

The subsequent sections will explore the various components of EQ and how enhancing these skills creates more skilful responses to life’s joys and difficulties.

Self-Awareness and Mindfulness

Ever react badly and later wonder, “Why did I do that?” We’ve all had those moments when emotions hijack our actions before we even realise what we’re feeling. Mindfulness practices train us to turn inward with curiosity and compassion. This builds self-awareness over time, helping us recognise emotional storms brewing within. Understanding the personal needs and wounds triggering our reactions prevents us from getting overwhelmed. This self-discovery grounds us in wisdom about our inner world. We then respond more intentionally, no longer tossed about by strong emotions we don’t see coming. Awareness leads to self-empowerment.

Managing Emotions 

Managing emotions is not the same as suppressing emotions. This is a very common trap we fall into while developing emotional intelligence: we think we are learning to manage or regulate emotions, but what we end up doing is suppressing them. Learning to recognise your own emotions is how to start developing empathy—first with yourself and then with others. Another important aspect here is developing a good relationship with our bodies; conscious and embodied practices, in addition to just mindfulness, are crucial. Developing empathy requires learning to recognise your own emotions first. A good relationship with our bodies through conscious and embodied practices is also key, not just mindfulness. The goal is to healthily manage emotions, not suppress them.

Self-Motivation and Resilience

What drives you out of bed each morning? Connecting to our sense of purpose and meaning is key to self-motivation. This comes from knowing our authentic values and aligning our actions accordingly. Understanding our spiritual essence provides an infinite wellspring of motivational hope. Additionally, by viewing obstacles as chances to test our mettle and flexing our grit through courageous self-compassion, we build resilience. With strong roots grounded in self-knowledge, we access an innate wisdom and driving force that sprouts sustainable growth through life’s inevitable storms.

Recognizing Emotions in Others

Have you ever misinterpreted someone’s facial expressions or body language and realized it too late? Reading the emotions of others is tough. But practices that build empathy can help us see through another’s eyes with compassion. Immersing ourselves in fiction and films, we experience different points of view. Empathy is about feeling the feelings of other human beings. Part of our brain, called the limbic brain, literally exists for this reason. True empathy starts with presence—consciously putting our full attention on another person without judgment or agenda. In this spacious awareness, we become an open channel able to sense emotions flowing from each other, initially perceived only as subtle disturbances in our being. As we fine-tune attention, the messages come across more clearly, and until their sadness materializes within us as a felt experience, their anxiety manifests in our quickened breath. This resonance comes not from analyzing facial expressions or postures, but from stripping away the boundaries between us. We don’t just recognise emotions intellectually; we feel them, allowing compassion to arise naturally. In this way, empathy leads us into deep connections beyond surface appearances and learned formulas. This emotional resonance helps forge a genuine connection. Underlying our differences, we find a shared inner world rich with common hopes, fears, and dreams.

Communication and Conflict Resolution

Like orchestra members tuning strings before a symphony, harmonious relationships require tuning into perspectives other than our own. Yet hearing views that clash with ours triggers instinctive defenses. EI allows us to cultivate an inherent sense of self-worth. This results in us making decisions that do not rely on external approval or validation to define our self-worth. This then results in us making our life decisions towards what gives us deeper meaning, satisfaction, and fulfilment because our mind is not continuously trying to find ways to prove our self-worth. EI helps us to take attention off of ourselves and put it on other people. When in connection, we then use this newly cultivated empathy and attention to insert a pause into our response, especially when we are triggered. Our emotional regulation and self-awareness allow us to not take things personally, keep our attention on other people, and see things from their perspective. That is how we move from being reactive to being responsive. It is an ongoing practice. When conversations get heated, we make space for both parties by asking clarifying questions with care. Finding common ground and validating opposing views ease tensions, enabling compromise. Even amidst disagreement, emotional connection allows joint solutions to emerge. Just as instruments blended create something more beautiful than any could alone, diversity of viewpoints leads to richer outcomes if collaboration overrides conflict.

Developing Relationships

Nothing warms the heart more than being truly seen and understood. Yet cultural conditioning often keeps our interactions shallow and superficial to be polite. By challenging this, emotional intelligence enables authentic self-expression by establishing psychological internal safety i.e. we stop looking at our external environment for safety and build an inherent sense of safety inside us that allows us to go into uncertainty and the unknown. With vulnerability met by compassion rather than judgement, humility expands. Our genuine selves come forth. Relating moves beyond polite pleasantries into intimate connection. With resonance established, simple moments become grounds for meaning-making, inside jokes, and creative synergies. Integral relationships form—not by seeking common ground but by sharing humanity within our unique ground. Differences are cherished equally to similarities.

Decision Making

As Einstein said “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” Life presents us with pivotal moments when we face difficult choices. Internal tugs-of-war emerge between reason versus intuition and logic versus feeling. Here, emotional intelligence expands our decision-making capacity by synthesizing multiple facets of insight. We consult both the head and the heart, merging objective analysis with subjective wisdom. By tuning into our emotions and honoring what most deeply resonates without ignoring practical implications, we integrate the full spectrum of who we are. This allows our choices to align with soulful yearnings and support our growth into wholeness. Holistic decisions foster fulfilment.

Pursuing Meaning and Purpose

What truly matters most to you? Clarifying our principles and ethics guides impactful choices aligned with our highest selves.  Contributing to something beyond our narrow interests then imbues life’s inevitable stressors with meaning. Volunteering to aid less fortunate folks uplifts our spirits in hard times. Living purposefully does not imply arriving at a goal destination or achievement summit. One of the critical things we need on the path of personal growth is someone who can point to our blind spots. Someone who has been in the hole where you find yourself and who has done the work to get out of that hole is willing to dive into that hole with you again and again while you learn the skills to get yourself out of it. This is what we do at Nibana. With purpose as our compass, we grow beyond isolation into connection with shining souls that illuminate

Developing Emotional Intelligence through Personalized Coaching

Emotional skill-building enables personal evolution. Yet we often lack structured guidance to effectively enhance self-awareness. This is where working one-on-one with a transformational life coach excels. At Nibana, we are adept in emotional intelligence methodologies to help clients investigate motivations and meaning, manage stress, communicate needs, and set aligned goals. Through judgement-free self-inquiry, reflective exercises, and planning supportive practices, Nibana builds EQ competencies. Clients gain agency in relationships, make self-honouring decisions, and show up authentically—personally and professionally. Investing in private coaching saves time and heartache on the path to actualizing our potential. Contact Nibana Life today to unfold your highest capacities through emotional intelligence development customised to your growth edges.

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The Power of Self-Discovery: How Transformational Life Coaching Unveils Our Potential

Do you ever feel like you’re just going through life without truly knowing yourself or living to your full potential? Does a little voice inside whisper that you were meant for something more if only you could peel away the roles and labels to unveil your unique essence and purpose?

You’re not alone. Self-discovery is a challenge we all face, but it need not be a solo trek into the depths of the psyche. With the right guidance, this profound personal journey has enormous benefits in all parts of your life – personal, professional, intimate, and spiritual. That’s where transformational life coaching comes in. Designed to excavate your inner landscape to unleash your best self, this methodology combines thoughtful inquiry, active listening and disarming questions that chip away at half-truths and limiting beliefs. With laser focus, a life coach aids you in shedding masks, connecting more authentically in relationships, aligning values with actions, and integrating discoveries into daily life with courage.

What is Transformational Life Coaching?

Transformational life coaching is a structured, facilitated methodology for catalyzing profound self-discovery and personal growth. Through the safety of a sacred, judgment-free space, your compassionate coach helps unveil the essence that has always dwelled within. As the mental fog lifts, core truths emerge. Old pain finds healing. Confidence grows. Passions ignite. This powerful inward journey of questioning, releasing, and discovering ultimately unveils your highest potential and purpose so you can boldly step into your best life.

Challenges of Self-Discovery

Attempting to uncover our authentic selves is far from straightforward. We face many obstacles on the journey of self-discovery, including:

  • Surface-level Understanding of Ourselves:

    We often have only a shallow understanding of our behaviours, patterns, fears, desires and beliefs. We get so caught up in day-to-day life that we don’t take the time to deeply reflect. Without plunging beneath the surface, our self-knowledge stays two-dimensional.

  • Blindspots

    We all have blindspots – aspects of ourselves that are difficult to see or acknowledge on our own. Whether it’s an outdated belief, a destructive habit, or parts of our personality, blindspots distort our self-perception and give an incomplete picture.

  • Confirmation Bias

    We gravitate towards information and interpretations that reinforce our existing views of ourselves. This confirmation bias inhibits us from catching areas where our self-narratives might be limited or inaccurate. We seek out validating feedback rather than challenging perspectives.

  • Reluctance to Be Vulnerable

    Engaging in courageous self-inquiry requires sharing parts of yourself that feel frightening, your flaws and tender spots. However, letting down our walls and being vulnerable is instrumental for growth.

  • Lack of Framework

    Introspection without structure or direction can become overwhelming or lead down unhelpful tangents. Self-discovery calls for an exploratory framework to progress through layers of understanding.

    Without overcoming these roadblocks, self-insight stays frustratingly out of reach, preventing us from unveiling our full potential.

How Does Life Coaching Help?

A reliable mentor is necessary to navigate the inner maze and arrive at a deeper understanding of ourselves on the path to self-discovery. A life coach gently guides you through the process of questioning deeply held ideas, balancing conflicting inner narratives, and incorporating fresh perspectives into your life.  As an impartial sounding board, they expand perspectives—asking thoughtful questions to challenge assumptions or reframe self-limiting stories.

Coaching offers a nonjudgmental space for you to safely air vulnerabilities, take risks, and voice fears without feeling exposed. Rather than providing directives, your coach enables self-directed growth, giving you frameworks, models, and tools so you can keep exploring on your own time. They supply just enough structure – goal setting, self-discovery activities, check-ins – to promote accountability without being overbearing.

Gradually, under the unwavering care of your coach, new vistas of your inner landscape open up. You courageously face the shadows seeking light and address emotional obstacles holding you back from your highest self. Clarity and alignment emerge to guide your journey toward purpose.

How does the Journey of Self-Discovery benefit you?

Actualize Your Full Potential

By diving deep into self-discovery work, you begin dismantling the internal barriers holding you back, enabling you to unlock gifts and talents you never knew you had. As limiting stories and assumptions fall away, space opens up to actualize your full potential.

Live in Alignment

The more you uncover about your authentic self, the more you can dismantle roles, relationships, and environments that dim your essence. You attract people and activities that resonate with your spirit. Every decision aligns with your core values. You live with integrity, fully inhabiting your being.

Uncover Purpose

Self-discovery peels away layers of conditioning to reveal your soul’s deepest longings. What brings you aliveness? What breaks your heart to see in the world? Your sense of purpose hidden within comes into focus, bringing direction to your mission.

Build Self-Awareness

Committing to self-inquiry exponentially builds your self-awareness over time. Not only do you understand personality traits, fears, desires, and shadows – but you also unlock the ability to observe your moment-to-moment internal state. You catch self-sabotaging thoughts instantly while aligning actions with your centre.

By courageously embarking on the self-discovery process with the support of a life coach, you gain the clarity, conviction, and inner resources to actualize your best life.

Conclusion

At Nibana, we have transformed hundreds of individuals through profound journeys of self-insight that utterly transform perspectives, relationships, purpose, and potential. Committing to this powerful work leads to living as your most fulfilled, energized, and authentic self. Why not take the first step in your journey of self-discovery today? Book a session now!

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Authenticity: Owning All of Who You Are

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” As Carl Jung wisely stated, fully embracing the entirety of your being allows for profound freedom and fulfilment. Yet how often do we reject, hide, or mould certain unwanted parts of ourselves to gain love, acceptance, and status? “I distinctly remember that for most of my early professional life, I looked at other people’s approval to live my life. I thought if I made them happy, I would be happy. I shied away from intense emotions to fit in. After a while, it all became exhausting!

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to discover the incredible lightness and energy that arises when we drop the cumbersome masks we wear. But Authenticity — owning even the messy, flawed, or socially unacceptable parts of ourselves — first requires compassionate self-inquiry, courageous vulnerability, and releasing the ruthless inner critic. When we cease the endless judging and editing of our inner world to meet external standards and expectations, we reclaim our wholeness along with the capacity to live freely, creatively, and in flow with life. Authenticity might ruffle some feathers, yet this level of fierce truth to oneself ultimately allows for more joyful and meaningful living.

At its core, authenticity is about being real and embracing the entirety of who you are without judgement or rejection. It requires releasing the pretence and heavy masks many of us hide behind in attempts to change ourselves to please others or meet societal ideals and expectations. Authenticity means taking an unflinching look inward and acknowledging all aspects of yourself—the light and the shadow, the polished and messy, the vulnerability and strength. Living authentically means acting and expressing yourself true to your inner compass, not external “shoulds”. It means practicing unconditional self-acceptance and self-discovery exactly as you are—flaws, failures, scars, and all. Though intensely uncomfortable at first, embracing your whole self ultimately allows you to live more freely and lightheartedly.

Why Authenticity Matters

  • Why does owning yourself matter? As someone who hid behind people-pleasing masks for years, I learned firsthand how exhausting and soul-draining inauthentic living can be. I conditioned myself to ignore my own needs and emotions, instead twisting myself to gain validation and applause. Rather than following my intuition and inner truth, I conformed to outside expectations about who and how to be – with devastating costs to my self-esteem, emotional health, and relationships.

  • Trying to alter ourselves to avoid judgement or rejection requires tremendous energy and breeds anxiety. The mental gymnastics of managing others’ perceptions leads to burnout. We suffer profoundly when we internalise criticism and perpetually judge ourselves for normal human emotions. How can we deeply relax when we feel the need to constantly hide our true selves?

  • Alternatively, radical self-acceptance brings relief. When we release the need to be perfect, to shun parts of ourselves, or to live by rigid external rules, we reclaim our freedom. The masks can dissolve, and we remember who we are underneath the limiting stories we absorbed over a lifetime.

  • Owning and honouring the entirety of your experience makes intimate connections possible. Hiding for fear of rejection distances us from truly being seen by others. When we can sit with discomfort and have the courage to reveal our tender truths, we pave the way for vulnerability, trust, and care—the cornerstones for fulfilling relationships.

  • Living authentically also conserves our precious inner resources for joy and creativity rather than manipulation and inner conflict. When we make space for all our emotions and release judgement, we can tap into our inner wisdom. No longer fighting against parts of yourself, life becomes freer, lighter, and more meaningful.

Conclusion

As I reflect on my journey towards owning myself, the process has often felt raw and terrifying. Peeling back each layer of pretence and self-protection has unlocked depths of inner freedom I couldn’t have imagined. No longer hostage to others’ validation nor constantly managing external perceptions, I’ve found space to unfurl into all that I am – both the light and the dark within me – with compassion. The gift of authenticity is realising we are always worthy of love. Yet undertaking an honest self-reckoning demands support; without judgmental ears to hear our truths, it can feel too daunting. If this call to live openly resonates yet feel overwhelmed alone, seek out wise guides—a therapist or life coach whose grounded presence reassures you that all of who you are is held, and accepted. 

When we allow ourselves to be fully seen and loved as the imperfect, complex beings we are, we taste the divine freedom of owning our wholeness. The journey awaits, whenever you’re ready.

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The role of Archetypes in understanding ourselves

I have always been a big fan of learning about Archetypes ever since I started my own personal growth journey.

Archetypes really helped understand different facets of my own unconscious behaviours that I wasn’t in approval of and didn’t want to even acknowledge or see.

In her book – ‘Sacred Contracts’, Caroline Myss proposes that all of us have agreed to play out an energetic contract even before we are born, and the way we play out these contracts is based on how we live our lives.

The roles we play in our lives and how we relate to others and the world around us.

It is as if that in every connection we make we are playing out an already existing contract.

The way I have related to archetypes in my own journey is that there are all of these places that I was unconscious of, or didn’t approve of, within myself.

I understood them as my subconscious patterns or my shadow. I was (and am) confronted (or triggered) by these parts when I discovered them or someone pointed them out to me.

I had to investigate these behaviour and patterns and understand what was happening. I learnt about the shadow aspect of it and their exalted forms. For example, where do I play the role of a victim, or when I am at work I have to play the role of a good employee or a manager or a businessman. At home, I am in the role of a husband, a partner, a lover etc. And then in terms of shadow what am i ashamed of, what is my relationship with submission/domination etc.

A lot of people have covered the idea of Archetypes – there’s the 4 divine masculine archetypes: King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. Jung talks about 12 different archetypes based on our own unconscious and the collective unconscious. The Archetypes of the Enneagram. There are also different types of personality tests.

However, all of these, I believe, are a way of understanding:

  • Our own unconscious relationship to self

  • Our unconscious behaviour in relation to other people and the world

  • A collective unconscious that is being lived through us

So, the work becomes about understanding what is in our subconscious or unconscious mind and why are we not in approval of that part of us. The more we shine light on those parts the more we have to figure out how to be in approval of them.

What I really find interesting in Caroline Myss’ work is that there is a sense that in the collective energy these archetypal patterns already exist, and, we as humans, are the manifestation of these archetypal patterns. Through our lives and our interactions we are bringing something that was in the unconscious into the conscious.

There is also a sense that the transmutation and the alchemical process of bringing the collective unconsciousness into consciousness is part of some grand energetic unfolding, and we are all connected to each other and in our unique way solving the small size of the puzzle by bringing parts of collective unconscious into conscious.

When we look at life from this lens our lives become a journey of living our sacred contract via understanding of our own archetypes; and the reward for our soul – for doing our part and executing our sacred contract – is Eternal Bliss i.e. Nibana 🙂

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