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Key Differences: Life Coaching vs. Therapy

Seeking personal growth or healing? Those facing obstacles often pursue life coaching or therapy. It might seem like they are interchangeable—merely branding differences. Some assume therapy connotes you’re broken, while coaching implies potential. Yet looking closer at those who have tried both reveals meaningful differences in focus, techniques, accountability, and outcomes. Essentially, life coaching employs tools and accountability through action plans to manifest goals and ambitions. It is like a personal trainer for your whole life. Therapy involves more processing of emotional wounds and the past as a healing guide. Both can catalyse growth, but they take distinct paths. Understanding the key variations allows for matching the process to individual needs. While coaching and therapy both aim to help overcome challenges, they diverge significantly in approach. Recognising distinctions assists in evaluating which serves best.

Key Distinctions Between Life Coaching and Therapy

Goal Orientation

The contrast emerges in orientation: life coaching fixates on the future while therapy dissects the past. Coaching rallies people to realise untapped potential through envisioning goals and then systematically building skills to achieve them. The coach cheers on the client’s ambitions without judgment. Therapy tends to diagnose and treat dysfunctional patterns that cause emotional suffering. The therapist helps confront pain buried in the past so the client can become unencumbered. While both aid in moving forward, coaching charges ahead fueled by visions of what is possible, while therapy reconciles what went wrong before.

Structure and Techniques

Life coaching employs an eclectic toolkit of exercises and assignments tailored to client goals, like improving time management or communication skills. More freeform than clinical approaches, coaching builds motivation along with capabilities. Therapy relies on established frameworks like assessments, diagnosis, and the formulation of treatment plans. Strict ethics codes govern the therapeutic relationship, while coaching allows more leeway. This enables coaching to flexibly respond to client needs, but therapy provides a grounded methodology.

Accountability and Action Plans

Coaches provide extensive accountability through action plans that map goals into achievable steps. Consistent tracking of progress is required to sustain momentum, leveraging the client’s strengths. Therapists also make recommendations, but emotional processing is the priority rather than the completion of tasks. Accountability looks different when the focus is on regulating mood versus manifesting ambitions. Coaching’s task orientation lights a fire under personal agency, while therapy seeks to stabilise before leaping boldly outward.

Developing Skills

Coaching builds concrete life skills such as optimising productivity, financial planning, communicating assertively, or delivering impactful presentations. By establishing new habits and competencies, clients achieve ambitious aims. Therapy hones the regulation of emotions, stress, and distortions about oneself or others. The focus is on coping versus external capability-building. Clients stabilise dysfunctional patterns that impact their quality of life. Life Coaching in London thus enhances performance, while therapy fosters functioning first.

Duration of Services

Coaching remains short-term, ceasing when clients integrate skills and accomplish deliberately outlined goals. Therapy persists, with no defined endpoint. Symptom fluctuations and new challenges emerge over time. Coaching sprints towards milestones contrasts with therapy’s marathon, which is dependent on evolving needs. Hence, duration diverges—coaching as intensive skill-building bursts or therapy’s open-ended processing.

Relationship

Coaching fosters a peer-like collaborative partnership. Therapy observes boundaries befitting the clinician-client relationship. Coaches afford more flexibility in discussing matters apart from advancements, while therapists ethically avoid dual relationships. Thus, coaches become more familiar while the therapists carefully safeguard professionalism. For some, befriending conveys care, while for others, distance denotes respect.

Outcomes

Coaching targets enhanced performance—whether career productivity, financial freedom, healthy relationships, or purpose alignment. Therapy seeks improved functioning via reduced symptoms like lessened anxiety or depression. Hence, coaching facilitates a life well lived through goal achievement, while therapy establishes preconditions for stability.

Choosing Between Life Coaching and Therapy

The decision to seek additional support for your personal growth is an important one. Both life coaches and therapists can provide immense value, but their fundamental approaches differ. Consider what you hope to achieve before deciding which professional is the best fit. 

Life coaches empower you to manifest the life you envision through goal-setting and strategic action plans. They motivate you to actualize your highest potential. If you know your destination but struggle with the roadmap, a coach may be ideal. 

Therapists illuminate self-awareness and support you through deep emotional work. They support you in overcoming mental challenges, processing difficult emotions, and healing from unhelpful past experiences. A therapist’s caring direction can put you on the road to inner peace, whether you’re dealing with trauma, loss, marital problems, or mental health concerns.

Choose the professional whose approach aligns with your personal growth goals. With an open heart and the right support, you can move forward into your brightest future.

Conclusion

The key takeaway is that life coaches and therapists both provide value but have different approaches. Life coaches empower you to set goals and take action to create the life you want. Coaching includes processing emotions, overcoming obstacles, and healing from past experiences, but the key difference between coaching and therapy is quite often that coaching is always forward looking and the aim is to get from A to B. It’s like when you take a taxi, you have to know where you are going and need to be able to tell your taxi driver your final destination. In therapy, you don’t need that. Therapists help you process emotions, overcome inner obstacles, and heal from past experiences. Before seeking support, reflect on your personal growth goals. Do you want to manifest an envisioned life? Or do you need to process complex feelings and heal from emotional wounds? Once you know what you hope to achieve, you can determine which professional is the best fit for your journey.

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Role of Emotional Intelligence in Personal Growth

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, comprehend, and control our feelings, as well as react intelligently to those of others. In contrast to IQ, EQ is a collection of intrapersonal and interpersonal traits that enable us to manage social encounters with compassion and knowledge. By understanding our inner world and resonating with others’ experiences, we respond thoughtfully instead of mindlessly. This supports personal growth. Enhancing emotional capacities provides a foundation for flourishing despite stressors. EQ drives an upward spiral of evolution by continuously honing self-knowledge and making choices aligned with the deepest values. EQ helps us understand ourselves and social dynamics, enabling well-being and fulfilment despite challenges.

The subsequent sections will explore the various components of EQ and how enhancing these skills creates more skilful responses to life’s joys and difficulties.

Self-Awareness and Mindfulness

Ever react badly and later wonder, “Why did I do that?” We’ve all had those moments when emotions hijack our actions before we even realise what we’re feeling. Mindfulness practices train us to turn inward with curiosity and compassion. This builds self-awareness over time, helping us recognise emotional storms brewing within. Understanding the personal needs and wounds triggering our reactions prevents us from getting overwhelmed. This self-discovery grounds us in wisdom about our inner world. We then respond more intentionally, no longer tossed about by strong emotions we don’t see coming. Awareness leads to self-empowerment.

Managing Emotions 

Managing emotions is not the same as suppressing emotions. This is a very common trap we fall into while developing emotional intelligence: we think we are learning to manage or regulate emotions, but what we end up doing is suppressing them. Learning to recognise your own emotions is how to start developing empathy—first with yourself and then with others. Another important aspect here is developing a good relationship with our bodies; conscious and embodied practices, in addition to just mindfulness, are crucial. Developing empathy requires learning to recognise your own emotions first. A good relationship with our bodies through conscious and embodied practices is also key, not just mindfulness. The goal is to healthily manage emotions, not suppress them.

Self-Motivation and Resilience

What drives you out of bed each morning? Connecting to our sense of purpose and meaning is key to self-motivation. This comes from knowing our authentic values and aligning our actions accordingly. Understanding our spiritual essence provides an infinite wellspring of motivational hope. Additionally, by viewing obstacles as chances to test our mettle and flexing our grit through courageous self-compassion, we build resilience. With strong roots grounded in self-knowledge, we access an innate wisdom and driving force that sprouts sustainable growth through life’s inevitable storms.

Recognizing Emotions in Others

Have you ever misinterpreted someone’s facial expressions or body language and realized it too late? Reading the emotions of others is tough. But practices that build empathy can help us see through another’s eyes with compassion. Immersing ourselves in fiction and films, we experience different points of view. Empathy is about feeling the feelings of other human beings. Part of our brain, called the limbic brain, literally exists for this reason. True empathy starts with presence—consciously putting our full attention on another person without judgment or agenda. In this spacious awareness, we become an open channel able to sense emotions flowing from each other, initially perceived only as subtle disturbances in our being. As we fine-tune attention, the messages come across more clearly, and until their sadness materializes within us as a felt experience, their anxiety manifests in our quickened breath. This resonance comes not from analyzing facial expressions or postures, but from stripping away the boundaries between us. We don’t just recognise emotions intellectually; we feel them, allowing compassion to arise naturally. In this way, empathy leads us into deep connections beyond surface appearances and learned formulas. This emotional resonance helps forge a genuine connection. Underlying our differences, we find a shared inner world rich with common hopes, fears, and dreams.

Communication and Conflict Resolution

Like orchestra members tuning strings before a symphony, harmonious relationships require tuning into perspectives other than our own. Yet hearing views that clash with ours triggers instinctive defenses. EI allows us to cultivate an inherent sense of self-worth. This results in us making decisions that do not rely on external approval or validation to define our self-worth. This then results in us making our life decisions towards what gives us deeper meaning, satisfaction, and fulfilment because our mind is not continuously trying to find ways to prove our self-worth. EI helps us to take attention off of ourselves and put it on other people. When in connection, we then use this newly cultivated empathy and attention to insert a pause into our response, especially when we are triggered. Our emotional regulation and self-awareness allow us to not take things personally, keep our attention on other people, and see things from their perspective. That is how we move from being reactive to being responsive. It is an ongoing practice. When conversations get heated, we make space for both parties by asking clarifying questions with care. Finding common ground and validating opposing views ease tensions, enabling compromise. Even amidst disagreement, emotional connection allows joint solutions to emerge. Just as instruments blended create something more beautiful than any could alone, diversity of viewpoints leads to richer outcomes if collaboration overrides conflict.

Developing Relationships

Nothing warms the heart more than being truly seen and understood. Yet cultural conditioning often keeps our interactions shallow and superficial to be polite. By challenging this, emotional intelligence enables authentic self-expression by establishing psychological internal safety i.e. we stop looking at our external environment for safety and build an inherent sense of safety inside us that allows us to go into uncertainty and the unknown. With vulnerability met by compassion rather than judgement, humility expands. Our genuine selves come forth. Relating moves beyond polite pleasantries into intimate connection. With resonance established, simple moments become grounds for meaning-making, inside jokes, and creative synergies. Integral relationships form—not by seeking common ground but by sharing humanity within our unique ground. Differences are cherished equally to similarities.

Decision Making

As Einstein said “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” Life presents us with pivotal moments when we face difficult choices. Internal tugs-of-war emerge between reason versus intuition and logic versus feeling. Here, emotional intelligence expands our decision-making capacity by synthesizing multiple facets of insight. We consult both the head and the heart, merging objective analysis with subjective wisdom. By tuning into our emotions and honoring what most deeply resonates without ignoring practical implications, we integrate the full spectrum of who we are. This allows our choices to align with soulful yearnings and support our growth into wholeness. Holistic decisions foster fulfilment.

Pursuing Meaning and Purpose

What truly matters most to you? Clarifying our principles and ethics guides impactful choices aligned with our highest selves.  Contributing to something beyond our narrow interests then imbues life’s inevitable stressors with meaning. Volunteering to aid less fortunate folks uplifts our spirits in hard times. Living purposefully does not imply arriving at a goal destination or achievement summit. One of the critical things we need on the path of personal growth is someone who can point to our blind spots. Someone who has been in the hole where you find yourself and who has done the work to get out of that hole is willing to dive into that hole with you again and again while you learn the skills to get yourself out of it. This is what we do at Nibana. With purpose as our compass, we grow beyond isolation into connection with shining souls that illuminate

Developing Emotional Intelligence through Personalized Coaching

Emotional skill-building enables personal evolution. Yet we often lack structured guidance to effectively enhance self-awareness. This is where working one-on-one with a transformational life coach excels. At Nibana, we are adept in emotional intelligence methodologies to help clients investigate motivations and meaning, manage stress, communicate needs, and set aligned goals. Through judgement-free self-inquiry, reflective exercises, and planning supportive practices, Nibana builds EQ competencies. Clients gain agency in relationships, make self-honouring decisions, and show up authentically—personally and professionally. Investing in private coaching saves time and heartache on the path to actualizing our potential. Contact Nibana Life today to unfold your highest capacities through emotional intelligence development customised to your growth edges.

How Transformational Life Coaching Unveils Our Potential Nibana
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The Power of Self-Discovery: How Transformational Life Coaching Unveils Our Potential

Do you ever feel like you’re just going through life without truly knowing yourself or living to your full potential? Does a little voice inside whisper that you were meant for something more if only you could peel away the roles and labels to unveil your unique essence and purpose?

You’re not alone. Self-discovery is a challenge we all face, but it need not be a solo trek into the depths of the psyche. With the right guidance, this profound personal journey has enormous benefits in all parts of your life – personal, professional, intimate, and spiritual. That’s where transformational life coaching comes in. Designed to excavate your inner landscape to unleash your best self, this methodology combines thoughtful inquiry, active listening and disarming questions that chip away at half-truths and limiting beliefs. With laser focus, a life coach aids you in shedding masks, connecting more authentically in relationships, aligning values with actions, and integrating discoveries into daily life with courage.

What is Transformational Life Coaching?

Transformational life coaching is a structured, facilitated methodology for catalyzing profound self-discovery and personal growth. Through the safety of a sacred, judgment-free space, your compassionate coach helps unveil the essence that has always dwelled within. As the mental fog lifts, core truths emerge. Old pain finds healing. Confidence grows. Passions ignite. This powerful inward journey of questioning, releasing, and discovering ultimately unveils your highest potential and purpose so you can boldly step into your best life.

Challenges of Self-Discovery

Attempting to uncover our authentic selves is far from straightforward. We face many obstacles on the journey of self-discovery, including:

  • Surface-level Understanding of Ourselves:

    We often have only a shallow understanding of our behaviours, patterns, fears, desires and beliefs. We get so caught up in day-to-day life that we don’t take the time to deeply reflect. Without plunging beneath the surface, our self-knowledge stays two-dimensional.

  • Blindspots

    We all have blindspots – aspects of ourselves that are difficult to see or acknowledge on our own. Whether it’s an outdated belief, a destructive habit, or parts of our personality, blindspots distort our self-perception and give an incomplete picture.

  • Confirmation Bias

    We gravitate towards information and interpretations that reinforce our existing views of ourselves. This confirmation bias inhibits us from catching areas where our self-narratives might be limited or inaccurate. We seek out validating feedback rather than challenging perspectives.

  • Reluctance to Be Vulnerable

    Engaging in courageous self-inquiry requires sharing parts of yourself that feel frightening, your flaws and tender spots. However, letting down our walls and being vulnerable is instrumental for growth.

  • Lack of Framework

    Introspection without structure or direction can become overwhelming or lead down unhelpful tangents. Self-discovery calls for an exploratory framework to progress through layers of understanding.

    Without overcoming these roadblocks, self-insight stays frustratingly out of reach, preventing us from unveiling our full potential.

Self Discovery

How Does Life Coaching Help?

A reliable mentor is necessary to navigate the inner maze and arrive at a deeper understanding of ourselves on the path to self-discovery. A life coach gently guides you through the process of questioning deeply held ideas, balancing conflicting inner narratives, and incorporating fresh perspectives into your life.  As an impartial sounding board, they expand perspectives—asking thoughtful questions to challenge assumptions or reframe self-limiting stories.

Coaching offers a nonjudgmental space for you to safely air vulnerabilities, take risks, and voice fears without feeling exposed. Rather than providing directives, your coach enables self-directed growth, giving you frameworks, models, and tools so you can keep exploring on your own time. They supply just enough structure – goal setting, self-discovery activities, check-ins – to promote accountability without being overbearing.

Gradually, under the unwavering care of your coach, new vistas of your inner landscape open up. You courageously face the shadows seeking light and address emotional obstacles holding you back from your highest self. Clarity and alignment emerge to guide your journey toward purpose.

How does the Journey of Self-Discovery benefit you?

Actualize Your Full Potential

By diving deep into self-discovery work, you begin dismantling the internal barriers holding you back, enabling you to unlock gifts and talents you never knew you had. As limiting stories and assumptions fall away, space opens up to actualize your full potential.

Live in Alignment

The more you uncover about your authentic self, the more you can dismantle roles, relationships, and environments that dim your essence. You attract people and activities that resonate with your spirit. Every decision aligns with your core values. You live with integrity, fully inhabiting your being.

Uncover Purpose

Self-discovery peels away layers of conditioning to reveal your soul’s deepest longings. What brings you aliveness? What breaks your heart to see in the world? Your sense of purpose hidden within comes into focus, bringing direction to your mission.

Build Self-Awareness

Committing to self-inquiry exponentially builds your self-awareness over time. Not only do you understand personality traits, fears, desires, and shadows – but you also unlock the ability to observe your moment-to-moment internal state. You catch self-sabotaging thoughts instantly while aligning actions with your centre.

By courageously embarking on the self-discovery process with the support of a life coach, you gain the clarity, conviction, and inner resources to actualize your best life.

Conclusion

At Nibana, we have transformed hundreds of individuals through profound journeys of self-insight that utterly transform perspectives, relationships, purpose, and potential. Committing to this powerful work leads to living as your most fulfilled, energized, and authentic self. Why not take the first step in your journey of self-discovery today? Book a session now!

Authenticity: Owning All of Who You Are
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Authenticity: Owning All of Who You Are

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” As Carl Jung wisely stated, fully embracing the entirety of your being allows for profound freedom and fulfilment. Yet how often do we reject, hide, or mould certain unwanted parts of ourselves to gain love, acceptance, and status? “I distinctly remember that for most of my early professional life, I looked at other people’s approval to live my life. I thought if I made them happy, I would be happy. I shied away from intense emotions to fit in. After a while, it all became exhausting!

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to discover the incredible lightness and energy that arises when we drop the cumbersome masks we wear. But Authenticity — owning even the messy, flawed, or socially unacceptable parts of ourselves — first requires compassionate self-inquiry, courageous vulnerability, and releasing the ruthless inner critic. When we cease the endless judging and editing of our inner world to meet external standards and expectations, we reclaim our wholeness along with the capacity to live freely, creatively, and in flow with life. Authenticity might ruffle some feathers, yet this level of fierce truth to oneself ultimately allows for more joyful and meaningful living.

At its core, authenticity is about being real and embracing the entirety of who you are without judgement or rejection. It requires releasing the pretence and heavy masks many of us hide behind in attempts to change ourselves to please others or meet societal ideals and expectations. Authenticity means taking an unflinching look inward and acknowledging all aspects of yourself—the light and the shadow, the polished and messy, the vulnerability and strength. Living authentically means acting and expressing yourself true to your inner compass, not external “shoulds”. It means practicing unconditional self-acceptance and self-discovery exactly as you are—flaws, failures, scars, and all. Though intensely uncomfortable at first, embracing your whole self ultimately allows you to live more freely and lightheartedly.

Why Authenticity Matters

  • Why does owning yourself matter? As someone who hid behind people-pleasing masks for years, I learned firsthand how exhausting and soul-draining inauthentic living can be. I conditioned myself to ignore my own needs and emotions, instead twisting myself to gain validation and applause. Rather than following my intuition and inner truth, I conformed to outside expectations about who and how to be – with devastating costs to my self-esteem, emotional health, and relationships.

  • Trying to alter ourselves to avoid judgement or rejection requires tremendous energy and breeds anxiety. The mental gymnastics of managing others’ perceptions leads to burnout. We suffer profoundly when we internalise criticism and perpetually judge ourselves for normal human emotions. How can we deeply relax when we feel the need to constantly hide our true selves?

  • Alternatively, radical self-acceptance brings relief. When we release the need to be perfect, to shun parts of ourselves, or to live by rigid external rules, we reclaim our freedom. The masks can dissolve, and we remember who we are underneath the limiting stories we absorbed over a lifetime.

  • Owning and honouring the entirety of your experience makes intimate connections possible. Hiding for fear of rejection distances us from truly being seen by others. When we can sit with discomfort and have the courage to reveal our tender truths, we pave the way for vulnerability, trust, and care—the cornerstones for fulfilling relationships.

  • Living authentically also conserves our precious inner resources for joy and creativity rather than manipulation and inner conflict. When we make space for all our emotions and release judgement, we can tap into our inner wisdom. No longer fighting against parts of yourself, life becomes freer, lighter, and more meaningful.

Conclusion

As I reflect on my journey towards owning myself, the process has often felt raw and terrifying. Peeling back each layer of pretence and self-protection has unlocked depths of inner freedom I couldn’t have imagined. No longer hostage to others’ validation nor constantly managing external perceptions, I’ve found space to unfurl into all that I am – both the light and the dark within me – with compassion. The gift of authenticity is realising we are always worthy of love. Yet undertaking an honest self-reckoning demands support; without judgmental ears to hear our truths, it can feel too daunting. If this call to live openly resonates yet feel overwhelmed alone, seek out wise guides—a therapist or life coach whose grounded presence reassures you that all of who you are is held, and accepted. 

When we allow ourselves to be fully seen and loved as the imperfect, complex beings we are, we taste the divine freedom of owning our wholeness. The journey awaits, whenever you’re ready.

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How Self-worth Reshapes Our Relationship

All of us desire the joy of feeling good about ourselves. However, what happens when our belief in our worth is undermined? Can low self-worth affect our relationships with ourselves and with others?

Understanding Self-Worth

Self-worth isn’t just about feeling good; emotions, thoughts, and a sense of spiritual connectedness are all important components of self-worth. It is molded by our fundamental self-beliefs and life experiences. It’s similar to assembling a puzzle in which every piece completes the exquisite picture of the person you are.

It plays a big role in how satisfied we are in a relationship.

Relationship Dynamics

Despite their apparent differences, relationships and self-worth are closely intertwined. The quality of our connections is an indicator of our self-worth.

Not only romantic relationships but also those with family and friends influence how we feel about ourselves.

Each relationship aims to make the other person feel respected, protected, and supported. In closer relationships, like the romantic kind, there’s an extra layer. We all want emotional care—to feel wanted, accepted just as we are, and loved without conditions. Being part of something special makes us feel connected and not alone. 

Doesn’t everyone want that? 

When our connections make us feel seen, understood, and valued, our sense of self-worth benefits.  So, you see, relationships and self-worth do go hand in hand.

Impact of Self-Worth on Relationships

Our relationships can be significantly impacted by our sense of self-worth, or how much we respect and believe in ourselves. 

Poor self-esteem often impacts relationships. 

Let’s look at some of the common impacts of low self-worth on relationships:

Low self-worth breeds insecurity in relationships. We may constantly seek validation from our partner, needing constant reassurance that we are loved.

We may also become jealous more easily and anxious about our partner leaving us for someone better.

A lack of self-worth damages open and assertive communication. We may avoid expressing our true needs or feelings out of fear of rocking the boat. Or we may become passive-aggressive rather than discuss issues.

With low self-esteem, we compromise our values and boundaries too much to appease our partner. We minimise our own needs because we don’t feel worthy of having them met.

It’s been observed that people with poor self-worth are more likely to remain in unhappy relationships for a longer period of time than others.

In trying to win our partner’s approval and love, we lose touch with our passions and interests. We mold ourselves to what they want rather than being true to ourselves.

Low self-worth can cause us to idealise partners and ignore red flags. You may stay in bad relationships longer, thinking you can’t do better.

Lower self-esteem makes us more emotionally reactive with partners. Small issues trigger oversized reactions.

On the flip side, a strong sense of self-worth allows us to communicate assertively, set boundaries, maintain identity in relationships, and recognize when a dynamic is unhealthy. The value we place on ourselves is reflected in our connections. 

Boosting our self-esteem can profoundly improve our relationships.

Why self-worth important?

Experts say healthy self-esteem provides a foundation for emotional well-being and productive lives. People who esteem themselves are better equipped to cope with hardships, express their needs, realize their full potential, and build meaningful connections.

Psychologists emphasise self-worth because how we judge our worth permeates nearly everything we do.

It filters our perceptions, priorities, motivations, compassion, resiliency, and vision for what we deserve. When self-worth is skewed negatively, we operate from a place of insecurity, self-criticism, and fear. 

But when self-worth is healthy, we act with greater confidence, emotional intelligence, and belief in ourselves and others.

Though shaped in childhood, self-esteem can be improved through self-care practices, therapy, Relationship Coach, building self-awareness, cultivating empathy, correcting distorted thoughts, practicing self-love and gratitude, taking risks, and surrounding ourselves with supportive people. 

Making this inner work a priority gives us the foundation to create the relationships, well-being, and lives we truly want.

How can we improve our Relationships and self-worth?

Now we know all about how low self-esteem can drag down our connections, while healthy self-worth enhances them. 

I hope hearing what the expert says motivates you to start cultivating more self-love and positive beliefs about yourself. I know it’s not always easy! But you are worth the effort. 

Your inner critic is lying; you are intelligent, attractive, and interesting enough. Speak to yourself with the kindness and respect you’ve shown to someone else.

You deserve it!

Remember to appreciate all of the wonderful traits that make us who we are! List the qualities, abilities, values, and characteristics that define you. Reflect on your hopes and dreams. What do you appreciate about yourself? How have you overcome challenges? Hold onto all of this proof of your inherent worth.

The goal is not just any relationship, but one where we feel seen, appreciated, and able to grow. 
When our self-worth shines from within, we’ll attract people who respect our light. And we’ll have so much more to give them in return.

This cycle of love feeds itself when it starts from a place of valuing YOU.

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Why it is important that we redefine “Integrity”

Components of Integrity

  • Integrity is a big part of what emotional adulthood is about.

  • Integrity with ourselves and Integrity with others

  • Integrity to our words

  • Integrity to our desires, feelings, and emotions

  • Integrity to our impact on the world around us

     

Conditioned Masculine & Feminine

Far too often, we either use our feelings and desires and skip responsibility to our word i.e. we don’t take into account our impact on people and the world around us if we don’t follow through on our commitments. This is our propensity towards the conditioned feminine.

OR

We cling to our word aka commitments in such a way that we ignore our feelings and emotions and then torture ourselves in the process i.e. we do not practice self-love. This is our propensity towards the conditioned masculine.

In both cases, however, we are coming from a lack and acting out as an emotionally underdeveloped teenager while trying to act like an adult.

To be an emotionally mature and healthy adult means we need to be able to do both i.e. love ourselves & be true to our feelings, and be true to our word and commitment, and take responsibility for the impact of our actions on the world;

AND

When we make mistakes, clean up the mess we create.

AND

When we don’t know what we are doing, ask for help!

Every action and inaction has consequences and has an impact.

When we promise that friend that we will be there and then we don’t show up because we didn’t feel like it. It has an impact.

When we go against what our heart really wants and we do things just because we had committed, we have an impact.

It could feel like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

What we often do, is, we either abandon ourselves and do things anyway because we have been conditioned (or trained) to be true to our word (This is pretty much how a lot of mindset coaching is about – “You are your word!”), or we abandon the idea of any kind of commitment because we believe any kind of structure is equivalent to a cage for our desire which needs to always feel free!

 

So, what is the answer?

I believe the answer is in the integration of the two.

A path that is an ongoing practice to live our lives in a way that we can stay true to our word and our heart simultaneously. When a situation arises that we can’t be true to one or the other, we use active communication and connection – both with people who are impacted by the change and with ourselves.

So, using the example above, if we promise a friend we will be there and we can no longer show up, then rather than just avoiding it we communicate and have an open and honest conversation about it. This also means that we own up to any impact we are going to have by changing the agreement. That is the courageous thing to do.

And, if we go meet that same friend because we made a commitment and even though what we truly desire is something else, then it’s our responsibility to have that conversation with ourselves and make sure that we don’t just abandon ourselves and our heart.

In the end, there is always an impact.

To be in integrity as an emotional adult is to be true to both our word and our feelings and emotions, to take ownership of the impact on others and on ourselves, and do whatever is needed to clean it up…..and also to be able to ask for help when you have no idea what you are doing 🙂

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