Men's Coaching - Masculine and Feminine Integration
We live in a world that is highly desensitised. A world where boys and girls go through cultural conditioning (e.g. boys associate with blue, girls associate with pink) that leads us to believe that we have to fit in a particular box to fit in.
The way this cultural conditioning often shows up for boys is that they are told they need to control their emotions, that they are the bread winners, that their worth is going to be defined by how well they do in their professional life and acquiring material wealth and things.
They are judged by family, friends, media and society at large if they are seen as sensitive. They are cold names like, “wuss”, “pussy” for being sensitive.
This results in men suppressing their emotions, which in turn reduces their ability to stay present in and work with intense emotions like conflict, anger, intimacy etc.
These emotions often leak out anyway and that can sometimes be harmful
Men are often disconnected from their bodies and skewed more towards rational and production-based mind for this reason.
Our definition of masculine & feminine
Masculine and Feminine are traits and energies that we all possess irrespective of our gender. Cultural conditioning often approves of masculine traits (rational, direct, doing, protection, providing, holding space, creating safety etc.) in men and judges feminine traits (sensitivity, emotions, feelings, intuition, vulnerability, being, receiving etc.)
we see it as a scale and we want to be able to master all the traits so that we can utilise whichever trait is needed in a particular situation. Eg when we are in working on a task, the production based masculine traits may be the ones we want to utilise, while when we are connecting with a loved one then we may want to have more access to our feelings, emotions, sensitivity and vulnerability ie. feminine traits.
Road to Self Mastery
In order to be able to build mastery in a way that we have full access to and control over all our traits, we need to:
Understand the role cultural conditioning has played in building our identity, and what beliefs we have created as a result
Build a relationship with our bodies and bring our Mind, Body and Spirit into alignment
Build a practice of self-inquiry and connection that serves as a feedback loop to understand how we show up in real life
Understand how the conditioned masculine and feminine traits interact with each other, and how they show up in your life and your connection with others
Build power to move from reactivity to being responsive, from a consumer to a creator
Get in touch with your inner beast, and let it out of the cage - and build an intimate relationship with him
Men’s Coaching at Nibana
Here are some of the things that are possible when you do Men’s work:
You fight for the relationships you crave rather than deeming yourself incapable and giving up
You feel joy that was previously reserved for rare peak moments most of the time
You speak your most controversial thoughts with magnetising humour rather than alienating defensiveness
You own your social and sexual inhibitions by reinterpreting your anxiety as excitement
Instead of overexerting or rejecting your masculinity, you are forceful or flexible as it is called for
You become more attractive as you gain mastery over your sexuality
You become the best version of yourself instead of trying to be someone else
You follow what wants to happen rather than what you think should happen
You get things done ten times as quickly by going with the flow
You embrace the uncomfortable parts of yourself and others, finding beauty within life’s darkness
You stop taking women’s relationship with their sexuality personally, so you can see them clearly, not through the lens of your insecurities
Emerging from your cave of isolation is easier
Emotions make as much sense to you as logic
Instead of relying on a woman to mother you, you fight your own demons and return to her whole
You see women’s desire as your greatest ally, not a threat, and the fear that spawns misogyny has evaporated
You direct people and situations down the most natural path
You simultaneously hold gratitude for what is and desire for even more
